https://no-reason-at-all.tumblr.com/

billpottz: mood: when holmes tells a funny & watson...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 12:01:30 -0500

mood: when holmes tells a funny & watson chuckles and then holmes looks away all proud AND THEN stealthily looks at watson and smiles AGAIN bc he can’t help himself !!! alfskjhdglakj

sidryan: sidryan: toxicsemicolon: when sherlock hugs culverton, he steals his phone when...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 11:51:35 -0500

sidryan:

sidryan:

toxicsemicolon:

when sherlock hugs culverton, he steals his phone

when sherlock hugs john ,

AMY 🔪

this post gave me a nosebleed

tjlcisthenewsexy: “People have often asked me whether I knew the end of a Holmes story before I...

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 10:55:36 -0500

tjlcisthenewsexy:

“People have often asked me whether I knew the end of a Holmes story before I started it. Of course I do. One could not possibly steer a course if one did not know one’s destination. The first thing is to get your idea. Having got that key idea one’s next task is to conceal it and lay emphasis upon everything which can make for a different explanation. Holmes, however, can see all the fallacies of the alternatives, and arrives more or less dramatically at the true solution by steps which he can describe and justify.”

— ACD on writing Holmes stories, Memories and Adventures
(via acdhw)

a-candle-for-sherlock: thespiritualmultinerd: a-candle-for-sherlock: thespiritualmultinerd: a-c...

Wed, 20 Jun 2018 18:10:23 -0500

a-candle-for-sherlock:

thespiritualmultinerd:

a-candle-for-sherlock:

thespiritualmultinerd:

a-candle-for-sherlock:

darlingdetectives:

thedoubteriswise:

Granada Holmes is just like… The absolute softest Holmes adaptation. Chinchilla fur and cotton candy soft. So soft you sink into it like an enormous ball pit full of marshmallows. Make me a sweater out of Granada Holmes

this is sherlock hound erasure

Fair.

*cough* and Howard Holmes

True. Admittedly also Old Russian Holmes

Granada Holmes: That cozy knitted sweater that is really warm and soft and that still smells a little like wood smoke from that last time you sat by a camp fire.

Howard Holmes: Your favourite hoodie that you’ve had since you were 14 and that still fits somehow. It’s a bit worn but it never lets you down and it smells like home.

Russian Holmes: That fine cardigan with leather elbow pads that makes you feel very classy, but that is also great for curling up in a chair with a good book when your dinner guests have gone home.

Omg yes

starkidpidge: Random person: “BBC Sherlock cannot be a romance because their relationship was always...

Sun, 17 Jun 2018 23:51:07 -0500

starkidpidge:

Random person: “BBC Sherlock cannot be a romance because their relationship was always platonic in the books.”

Arthur Conan Doyle: “We had a first-class carriage to ourselves — and laying a hand upon each of my knees he looked into my eyes with the peculiarly mischievous gaze which was characteristic of his more imp-like moods.”

thealogie: HER LAST NAME IS ADLER AND THIS IS LITERALLY ONLY...

Sun, 17 Jun 2018 23:27:42 -0500

thealogie:

HER LAST NAME IS ADLER AND THIS IS LITERALLY ONLY THE FIRST EPISODE

heisjohnlocked: Taking Care of Each Other John grinds multivitamins and flax seed into Sherlock’s...

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 19:28:03 -0500

heisjohnlocked:

Taking Care of Each Other

John grinds multivitamins and flax seed into Sherlock’s pancakes.

Sherlock slowly replaced John’s cheap toiletries with brands that smell better. He started with a half and half mixture and eventually transitioned to full bottles.

John “found” an 18th century tuning fork for Sherlock’s violin case by stalking Ebay auctions for three weeks.

Sherlock usually clicks the kettle on as soon as he hears the creak of John’s bed.

John silently removes Sherlock’s nicotine patches when he’s been in his Mind Palace too long.

The night John got dumped, he had made “that thing with the peas,” but Sarah left before he could serve it. Sherlock ate half the pot when he woke up and pronounced it his new favorite.

John once found a set of dentures on a train station bench, grimaced, and wrapped them up into his coat pocket with a takeaway napkin so Sherlock could spend the whole afternoon tracking down their owner.

Sherlock buys pre-packaged diner sugar after Baskerville until John tells him it’s quite alright, he trusts him.

When John introduced Harry and Sherlock over Skype, he laughed extra hard at Sherlock’s jokes so she could see how happy they were. Sherlock got so distracted looking at the window of their faces together that he forgot to deduce Harry.

Sherlock figured out how to permanently disconnect the street lamp that always glares directly onto John’s bed at night. City workers have tried to replace it three times.

John used his credit card purchases to convince Mycroft that Sherlock had mono for six weeks and couldn’t work any cases for him.

Sherlock secretly asked Angelo to stop putting candles between them at dinner because he saw how uncomfortable it made John.

Not even a month later, John secretly asked Angelo where all the candles had gone and could he put them back please?

sidgwicks: The Valley of Fear, 1914.

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 15:31:09 -0500

sidgwicks:

The Valley of Fear, 1914.

kinklock: one-thousand-splendid-stars: Ok… I know Netflix...

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 09:27:33 -0500

kinklock:

one-thousand-splendid-stars:

Ok… I know Netflix doesn’t mean “slow burn” in the way that we use it but….

dont they

marcelock:when sherlocks like i NEED an assistant 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 DO YOU LIKE HELPING PEOPLE??? and...

Wed, 13 Jun 2018 11:36:23 -0500

marcelock:

when sherlocks like i NEED an assistant 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 DO YOU LIKE HELPING PEOPLE??? and johns like ITS THE ONLY THING ON THIS SHIT EARTH THAT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE I AM FALLING IN LOVE AS WE SPEAK

arachnaboy: hamishwatson: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: bert-and...

Fri, 08 Jun 2018 21:53:51 -0500

arachnaboy:

hamishwatson:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

bert-and-ernie-are-gay:

Interviewer: Tell us about your relationship with Robert Downey Jr on set.
Jude Law: Oh, I love him. I love him.
Interviewer: Yeah? You had a bit of a bromance going on there.
Jude Law: What is this new term everyone is using?
Interviewer: Bromance?
Jude Law: Oh, it’s a horrible term. What about just a romance?
Interviewer: No, it’s not the same.
Jude Law: Why not? Why?
Interviewer: Cause then you’d have to star in a romantic comedy together or something.
Jude Law: We just have. Have you not seen it? [x]

Jude Law does not have time for any of that ‘No Homo’ bullshit…

FuCK JUDE LAW WENT FROM 0 TO 100 REAL QUICK

Interviewer: No homo haha
Jude Law: FULL HOMO

Photo

Wed, 06 Jun 2018 19:53:32 -0500

loudest-subtext-in-television: loudest-subtext-in-television: is there a gifset of the parallels...

Wed, 06 Jun 2018 18:50:36 -0500

loudest-subtext-in-television:

loudest-subtext-in-television:

is there a gifset of the parallels of John and Sherlock sarcastically flirting with armed goons to throw them off-kilter?

I mean in ASiB when Sherlock says, “Do you want me on my knees, too?” and in HLV when John says, “Doesn’t mean I’m not pleased to see you.”

totally straight stuff, should be documented

Imagine Moriarty’s goons trading stories about all the times John or Sherlock sarcastically flirted with them.

Goon A: “And so I told him if he didn’t stop running his mouth, I was gonna stick him!”

Goon B: “What did he say?”

Goon A: “‘We’ve only just met.’ I swear he was really flirting!”

Goon B: “Oh yeah, Holmes’ll do that. But it’s the little one you’ve–”

Goon A: “I’m gettin’ to that! So I goes to stab him but that tiny guy, his boyfriend or whatever –”

Goon B: “Boss says it isn’t like that.”

Goon A: “– bodyguard, he comes up behind me –”

Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for saying that.”

Goon A: “– grabs me, jabs a gun in my back, and he says, ‘Got anything for me?’”

Goon B: “What’d you do?”

Goon A: “Well I couldn’t do nothin’, y'see, on account of the gun. But my point is Holmes starts laughin’ –”

Goon B: “Hate that prick.”

Goon A: “And he says, ‘Calm down. He’s barely got anything for me,’ and you know what he means, right? I mean, ice pick and all, he’s thinks he’s real funny. So I says, ‘I’ve killed men with ice picks before –’”

Goon B: “Fine weapon.”

Goon A: “And the little one goes, ‘They were faking it.’ He’s meant to be a doctor, you know? He knows they can kill people, fucker was just making fun of me. And then they both start laughin’ up a storm!”

Goon B: “Unprofessional.”

Goon A: “So I says, 'It won’t be so funny when you’re on the ground,” and –“

Goon B: “Oh no.”

Goon A: “Not my finest moment, but. It was unsettlin’, alright? And Holmes just looks at me, with this stupid smirk on his face. He holds out his arms and says, 'Go on, then: *stick me.*’ And he said it just like that, you hear it?”

Goon B: “I hear it.”

Goon A: “With that innuendo in it? Said it just like that.”

Goon B: “I believe it.”

Goon A: “Did this… thing… with his mouth, when he said it. You know what I mean?”

Goon B: “Like when a woman flirts with you.”

Goon A: “Blatant! In front of his boyfriend and everything!”

Goon B: “Don’t say that around boss.”

Goon A: “And I tells ya… even if there hadn’t been a gun on me, I don’t think I couldda stuck him. Not after that.”

Goon B: “That’s why he did it.”

Goon A: “I don’t think so. I think he really wanted to get stabbed.”

Goon B: “It’s dishonorable, is what it is. Makin’ us uncomfortable. Real men don’t fight that way.”

Goon A: “He seemed sincere.”

Goon B: “He wasn’t into you.”

Goon A: “I think he was. So his partner or whatever is snickering, he’s got his gun on me, I can’t stab a man who’s gonna get off on it, what else could I do?”

Goon B: “You try to run.”

Goon A: “Had me handcuffed in under a minute.”

Goon B: “'Holmes always has handcuffs.’”

Goon A, nodding: “'Holmes always has handcuffs.’ So I’m lyin’ there in the middle of the canned goods aisle and his bodyguard leans in and asks, 'Was it good for you?’”

Goon B: “It was good for him. That I’d believe.”

Goon A: “You think it’s a kind of…?”

Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for speculating.”

Goon A: “… with those two…?”

Goon B: “Not speculating.”

Goon A: “But you think the little one was into me.”

Goon B: “I think it was good for him.”

Goon C, breaking his silence: “Once I was picking a lock and Holmes snuck up and whispered, 'Don’t twist it so hard. Have some finesse.’ Went straight down my spine.”

Goon B: “Dishonorable.”

Goon A: “I think he liked you.”

PLEASE GO ON WITH THE COMEDIAN JOHN!!!!!! TELL ME IN DETAILS. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. DESCRIBE EVERYHTING

Wed, 06 Jun 2018 17:34:11 -0500

OKAY SO

at the beginning of the show sherlock’s hands are primly folded in his lap, he’s right at the back of the room because he’s 300% sure he’s not going to enjoy this shit and ten minutes into the set his scarf is half-untied, he’s wheezing and hanging onto his chair for dear life, he thinks john watson is simply the funniest
whenever john pauses to take a sip of water he discreetly winks at sherlock. and sherlock’s just sitting there going :> and flushing so hard
john’s in the middle of his set when he makes eye contact with sherlock and he suddenly stops. he looks up to the ceiling, blinking hard, and then he says sombrely into the microphone, “sorry about that, i completely forgot to thank the lord my saviour today for making me bisexual”
he makes this one really meta anatomy joke and sherlock’s the only who gets it and doubles over laughing. john smiles at his shoes, twirling the microphone chord, and says, “there’s always one”
then this one heckler in the front row tells john to “suck a dick” and john’s like, “ohh, i intend to,” and half the audience turns around to look at sherlock? and then john gets down on one knee so that he’s looking right into the heckler’s eyes and he gives a play-by-play to the rest of the audience- “he’s mute. oh, this is fucking lovely. the poor sod can’t even talk, he’s- oh! oh wait, oh wait, he’s about to take another dump out of his mouth- no, he’s frozen. like a popsicle. dipshit on a stick. hoo boy, natural selection’s been taking its time with this one” and sherlock is cheering along with everyone else
after the set’s over sherlock tries to hang back and pay his compliments but the security personnel isn’t having it. sherlock draws himself to full height and says in his most imperious voice, “excuse me, i am the headliner’s boyfriend, unhand me this instant-” and john reaches exactly at that moment and grins and asks, “you’re the who’s what?” and sherlock is mortified. “um. the headliner’s…boyfriend?” and john takes him by the arm and says, “quite right,” and goes, “ta, mates,” to the confused personnel
they step outside. it’s chilly. john says, “sherlock, right?” and sherlock nods and stuffs his hands into his pocket and puts his coat collar up so that john can’t tell just how badly he’s blushing. and john just exhales, with this lovely, liquid smile on his face and tells him, “i’m. uh. not very eloquent off the stage (sherlock snorts, and john’s smile widens), but. i have two shows in town before i have to leave- so would you like to-” and sherlock yelps “YES” and john breaks off, chuckling, “you didn’t know how i’d end that sentence.” “i did” “what was i going to suggest?” sherlock stares hard at him for a full second before announcing, “tea” and john shakes his head, amused and terribly fond, “that was a lucky guess,” and sherlock snorts even louder
they exchange numbers, and john walks him to the main road so that sherlock can hail a cab. sherlock opens the door, takes a deep breath, pecks john on the cheek without saying a word and ducks into the cab, telling the driver to go go go, and john’s left standing on the pavement, punch-drunk, suddenly hit with the realisation that he’s a goner

afishlearningpoetry:John @ Sherlock: 😐😕🙁☹️😢

Tue, 05 Jun 2018 17:51:21 -0500

afishlearningpoetry:

John @ Sherlock: 😐😕🙁☹️😢

iwantthatbelstaffanditsoccupant: loveinthefandoms: holmesguy: love-in-mind-palace: kako-pumpkin: ...

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 22:46:31 -0500

iwantthatbelstaffanditsoccupant:

loveinthefandoms:

holmesguy:

love-in-mind-palace:

kako-pumpkin:

love-in-mind-palace:

holmesguy:

savory-breakfasts:

love-in-mind-palace:

Canon Holmes and Irene Adler had literally three interactions. In two of them, he was in disguise. In one of them she was in disguise. They didn’t even have a conversation. Canonically happily married to a man. Literally moved Holmes out of her way using just her pinky finger.

Fuckbois throughout the ages : HE LOVES IRENE ADLER. HE TOTALLY WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HER. THAT’S WHY HE ADMIRES HER. #TRUELOVE #SOULMATE #STAR-CROSSED LOVERS

Sherlock Holmes in ACD canon : I wanna fly out of the window and over London holding Watson’s hand. My Boswell. My conductor of light. IF YOU TOUCH WATSON I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS.

People: They are friends. #NOHOMO #PLATONIC #JUST BROS

Heteronormativity is a powerful drug.

Holmes’ canon reaction to Irene Adler getting married:

Putting his hands into his pockets, he stretched out his legs in front of the fire and laughed heartily for some minutes.

“Well, really!” he cried, and then he choked and laughed again until he was obliged to lie back, limp and helpless, in the chair.

“What is it?”

“It’s quite too funny.”

Holmes’ canon reaction to Watson getting married:

“I get a wife out of it, Jones gets the credit, pray what remains for you?”

“For me,” said Sherlock Holmes, “there still remains the cocaine-bottle.” And he stretched his long white hand up for it.

Irene getting married made Holmes laugh for literal minutes until he choked, and then laugh again until he could laugh no more.

Watson getting married made Holmes reach for his drugs.

And there it is 🙌

I’m hijacking this post to be salty about how Irene has been treated…sorry.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, repeatedly - Irene Adler did not give a fuck about Sherlock Holmes! That’s been the most frustrating thing about her portrayal everywhere! She didn’t give a crap! She just wanted security so she could go get married to Godfrey!

I wish we had that Irene. Instead of being another character whose star is hanging in Sherlock’s solar system, she’s the person who reminds him he’s not the center of the universe - he can make mistakes, he can get cocky, he doesn’t know everything and his methods aren’t full-proof. And best of all, she teaches him these lessons…as a sort of aside. Like, it was a side-effect of her doing her own thing.

He’s the one who learned something. He was bested. They weren’t chasing after each other and she wasn’t some mysterious minx or clever coquette whose sole purpose in the plot was to be sexy and confident and then have that sexiness used against her and the confidence pulled out from under her feet so that Sherlock could be clever and prove how awesome he was (I’m looking at you, BBC and Ritchie versions).

I mean, I’m an absolute sucker for anything, anything Sherlock Holmes. I loved the stories, I love every piece of media I can get my hands on.

But Irene is my favourite character. And she. Gets. Shafted.

(John is my very close second favourite, ofc)

You just said what I occasionally scream in the void. The mistreatment of canon Irene Adler. Except Granada, no one got even close and that sucks. A strong feminine character reduced to damsel in distress. A Scandal in Bohemia has always been one of my favourite stories because it thrilled me that how a woman outsmarted Sherlock Holmes easily. And made him do a double take on his self confidence. Irene didn’t give a single fuck really. I bet she was kind of annoyed and did the most beautiful thing. Tricked Sherlock Holmes, happily got married to the man she loves and did everything gracefully. That is the beauty of her character.

And then I look at the modern adaptations and I just sigh.

Yes and yes! Irene Adler–actually, Irene Norton, because she is happily married by the end of the story–is a total badass who barely noticed Holmes getting in her way. The way she is treated in almost every adaptation is beyond disappointing. She’s such an intelligent and vibrant character and yet she gets treated as a prop for forced romance.

Anyway, just to continue quoting from canon, here we have Holmes saying that he hopes she loves her husband:

“Irene Adler is married,” remarked Holmes.

“Married! When?”

“Yesterday.”

“But to whom?”

“To an English lawyer named Norton.”

“But she could not love him.”

“I am in hopes that she does.”

He hardly seems heartbroken over it, and is more interested in dissing the King than anything at this point in the story.

And here we have Irene saying it herself:

As to the photograph, your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he.

Irene Norton loves her husband. She doesn’t love the King of Bohemia. She doesn’t love Holmes. Both Holmes and the King got in her way of trying to marry the man she loves, but she outsmarted them both and got what she wanted. The whole case is about this and yet I get the impression that many adaptations fail to realize that her whole story is about her trying to be with the man she loves without all these other people interfering and trying to control her. And she is the one who saves herself in this story. Holmes is not the hero, he’s just an annoyance.

I’m going to bring the attention back to Holmes again for a moment: I want to point out too that SCAN, the story that gives us “the woman” is also the story that gives us “I am lost without my Boswell.” Holmes would be lost without Watson, he says it himself. When the story opens, Holmes is living alone at Baker Street, cycling through fits of energy and lethargy, and “alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition” after Watson’s marriage. Watson drops in on him, and Holmes does what he can to get Watson to stick around for a case. Once he finally gets Watson to stay, Holmes’s mood begins improving, going from aloof and barely talkative until we reach the point of him laughing uproariously about Irene’s marriage. I don’t want to make this post much longer, but I wrote a post about it here that analyses the story step-by-step (under the assumption that Watson’s marriage is real and that SCAN occurs after SIGN–perhaps in the future I’ll approach it from a different angle).

I actually posted a short blurb a while back about Irene Adler and this specific thing. Irene Adler was an independent woman who wanted to marry someone she actually loved. (And that person was not Sherlock Holmes.) She was someone not only beat Sherlock Holmes but also taught him a lesson. She was intelligent, badass, and (may I add again) an independent woman who did not need or want Sherlock Holmes and did not let him nor the King get in the way. And it is truly disappointing that in so many adaptations, she is just romanticized/ sexualized and not shown as the woman she truly is.

Y'all need to read the Watson and Holmes comics because they get Irene right! It is the only modern adaptation I have seen that does. Go get it, and then fall at @lesliefay’s feet for a bit,

So how come 1890s Victorians were SHOCKED by the gay subtext in Dorian Gray but were oblivious to the gay subtext in Sherlock Holmes and Dracula?

Sun, 03 Jun 2018 14:05:56 -0500

Well, Dorian Gray was barely subtext. The editor censored the first edition without Wilde’s permission and even then there was such an uproar that the second edition (released the next year) was much more heavily edited–that’s the version most of us are familiar with. The original version contained such lines as, “It is quite true I have worshipped you with far more romance of feeling than a man should ever give to a friend. Somehow I have never loved a woman.” And everyone knew Wilde was queer.

Meanwhile, Dracula frames gayness in monstrous terms. This is a literary device that’s been used in many queer stories in homophobic times: make it tragic, horrifying, monstrous, and the cishet audience will feel comfortable in their removal from it, while the queer audience recognizes their otherness.

And unlike Wilde, Doyle was staid, and respectable, and not especially radical; and his characters’ queerness was framed in purely emotional terms. They are devoted, tender, adoring, intensely intimate, but never sexual. Doyle repeatedly makes Holmes seem to be removed from lust by nature; frames his queerness as an absence of feeling toward women, rather than a physical desire for men. And Victorians loved intimate friendships. They considered them to be quite separate from sexual passion. A man could promise his friend to love him forever, offer all his loyalty, share his rooms, and take his arm in the street. As long as there wasn’t a hint of carnality, no one minded. (Honestly, quite a number of Victorians didn’t mind if there was; but publishing a book about the subject brought out the cultural gatekeepers.)

soracities:Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne...

Mon, 28 May 2018 21:26:15 -0500

soracities:

Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne Carson)

jon-lox: “You haven’t got any lips.” “What? What does that mean?” “It means your lips are small and...

Mon, 28 May 2018 08:21:37 -0500

jon-lox:

“You haven’t got any lips.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means your lips are small and thin.”

“Mmm. Okay. Alright. I see. I guess I’ll take my lips somewhere else, then.”

“Come back here, don’t be stupid. I like them.”

“Sorry? No one likes thin lips. There’s an industry built on plumping them up.”

“I don’t like any lips. I like yours.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like it.”

“It was an observation. It’s not my fault you projected your own prejudices about beauty onto it. Your lips are thin, almost non-existent. If I drew your face, I’d only have to draw one line for your mouth.”

“Are you quite finished pointing out my insecurities? Or are you going to continue on to my love handles, as well?”

“I love your love handles, too. But we’re talking about your lips.”

“No, you’re talking about my lips. How would you like it if I talked about, I don’t know - “

“Yes?”

“-your, your stupid…”

“Go on.”

“…I don’t know. I can’t think of anything. You’re beautiful.”

“Which is exactly my point about you.”

Should I watch Russian Holmes?

Sun, 27 May 2018 20:53:44 -0500

Oh my goodness, yes. I think their characterization is my favorite outside the actual canon. Their Holmes is slightly insane, and always ready to fight, but also genuinely, deeply kind, and their Watson is the perfect blend of puzzled, vaguely scared, adoring and annoyed. And they hug each other and cry over each other’s feelings, and argue about art, and Watson sketches Holmes and boxes Holmes and plays Holmes’ violin horribly when he misses him. Holmes doesn’t stay away three years and when he comes home Watson and Mrs. Hudson BOTH faint. Basically, it’s glorious.