John grinds multivitamins and flax seed into Sherlock’s pancakes.
Sherlock slowly replaced John’s cheap toiletries with brands that smell better. He started with a half and half mixture and eventually transitioned to full bottles.
John “found” an 18th century tuning fork for Sherlock’s violin case by stalking Ebay auctions for three weeks.
Sherlock usually clicks the kettle on as soon as he hears the creak of John’s bed.
John silently removes Sherlock’s nicotine patches when he’s been in his Mind Palace too long.
The night John got dumped, he had made “that thing with the peas,” but Sarah left before he could serve it. Sherlock ate half the pot when he woke up and pronounced it his new favorite.
John once found a set of dentures on a train station bench, grimaced, and wrapped them up into his coat pocket with a takeaway napkin so Sherlock could spend the whole afternoon tracking down their owner.
Sherlock buys pre-packaged diner sugar after Baskerville until John tells him it’s quite alright, he trusts him.
When John introduced Harry and Sherlock over Skype, he laughed extra hard at Sherlock’s jokes so she could see how happy they were. Sherlock got so distracted looking at the window of their faces together that he forgot to deduce Harry.
Sherlock figured out how to permanently disconnect the street lamp that always glares directly onto John’s bed at night. City workers have tried to replace it three times.
John used his credit card purchases to convince Mycroft that Sherlock had mono for six weeks and couldn’t work any cases for him.
Sherlock secretly asked Angelo to stop putting candles between them at dinner because he saw how uncomfortable it made John.
Not even a month later, John secretly asked Angelo where all the candles had gone and could he put them back please?
Anonymous asked:
rvancoogler answered:
OKAY SO
ever truly think about how the most famous fictional character in the world is a lanky tender-hearted gay man
“People have often asked me whether I knew the end of a Holmes story before I started it. Of course I do. One could not possibly steer a course if one did not know one’s destination. The first thing is to get your idea. Having got that key idea one’s next task is to conceal it and lay emphasis upon everything which can make for a different explanation. Holmes, however, can see all the fallacies of the alternatives, and arrives more or less dramatically at the true solution by steps which he can describe and justify.”
— ACD on writing Holmes stories, Memories and Adventures
(via acdhw)
when sherlocks like i NEED an assistant 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 DO YOU LIKE HELPING PEOPLE??? and johns like ITS THE ONLY THING ON THIS SHIT EARTH THAT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE I AM FALLING IN LOVE AS WE SPEAK
is there a gifset of the parallels of John and Sherlock sarcastically flirting with armed goons to throw them off-kilter?
I mean in ASiB when Sherlock says, “Do you want me on my knees, too?” and in HLV when John says, “Doesn’t mean I’m not pleased to see you.”
totally straight stuff, should be documented
Imagine Moriarty’s goons trading stories about all the times John or Sherlock sarcastically flirted with them.
Goon A: “And so I told him if he didn’t stop running his mouth, I was gonna stick him!”
Goon B: “What did he say?”
Goon A: “‘We’ve only just met.’ I swear he was really flirting!”
Goon B: “Oh yeah, Holmes’ll do that. But it’s the little one you’ve–”
Goon A: “I’m gettin’ to that! So I goes to stab him but that tiny guy, his boyfriend or whatever –”
Goon B: “Boss says it isn’t like that.”
Goon A: “– bodyguard, he comes up behind me –”
Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for saying that.”
Goon A: “– grabs me, jabs a gun in my back, and he says, ‘Got anything for me?’”
Goon B: “What’d you do?”
Goon A: “Well I couldn’t do nothin’, y'see, on account of the gun. But my point is Holmes starts laughin’ –”
Goon B: “Hate that prick.”
Goon A: “And he says, ‘Calm down. He’s barely got anything for me,’ and you know what he means, right? I mean, ice pick and all, he’s thinks he’s real funny. So I says, ‘I’ve killed men with ice picks before –’”
Goon B: “Fine weapon.”
Goon A: “And the little one goes, 'They were faking it.’ He’s meant to be a doctor, you know? He knows they can kill people, fucker was just making fun of me. And then they both start laughin’ up a storm!”
Goon B: “Unprofessional.”
Goon A: “So I says, 'It won’t be so funny when you’re on the ground,” and –“
Goon B: “Oh no.”
Goon A: “Not my finest moment, but. It was unsettlin’, alright? And Holmes just looks at me, with this stupid smirk on his face. He holds out his arms and says, 'Go on, then: *stick me.*’ And he said it just like that, you hear it?”
Goon B: “I hear it.”
Goon A: “With that innuendo in it? Said it just like that.”
Goon B: “I believe it.”
Goon A: “Did this… thing… with his mouth, when he said it. You know what I mean?”
Goon B: “Like when a woman flirts with you.”
Goon A: “Blatant! In front of his boyfriend and everything!”
Goon B: “Don’t say that around boss.”
Goon A: “And I tells ya… even if there hadn’t been a gun on me, I don’t think I couldda stuck him. Not after that.”
Goon B: “That’s why he did it.”
Goon A: “I don’t think so. I think he really wanted to get stabbed.”
Goon B: “It’s dishonorable, is what it is. Makin’ us uncomfortable. Real men don’t fight that way.”
Goon A: “He seemed sincere.”
Goon B: “He wasn’t into you.”
Goon A: “I think he was. So his partner or whatever is snickering, he’s got his gun on me, I can’t stab a man who’s gonna get off on it, what else could I do?”
Goon B: “You try to run.”
Goon A: “Had me handcuffed in under a minute.”
Goon B: “'Holmes always has handcuffs.’”
Goon A, nodding: “'Holmes always has handcuffs.’ So I’m lyin’ there in the middle of the canned goods aisle and his bodyguard leans in and asks, 'Was it good for you?’”
Goon B: “It was good for him. That I’d believe.”
Goon A: “You think it’s a kind of…?”
Goon B: “I seen boss kill a man for speculating.”
Goon A: “… with those two…?”
Goon B: “Not speculating.”
Goon A: “But you think the little one was into me.”
Goon B: “I think it was good for him.”
Goon C, breaking his silence: “Once I was picking a lock and Holmes snuck up and whispered, 'Don’t twist it so hard. Have some finesse.’ Went straight down my spine.”
Goon B: “Dishonorable.”
Goon A: “I think he liked you.”
